Each stitch, each knot, each twist and turn of the thread is an integral part of the whole, yet when I step back to admire the tapestry in its entirety, I find it difficult to recognize the person woven into the intricate design.
As a child, I was a kaleidoscope of vibrant hues, each color representing a different facet of my personality. The world was my canvas and I painted it with unabashed glee. My heart was an open book, the pages brimming with innocence and curiosity. The laughter was genuine, the tears transient. But as time went on, the colors started to blend and blur, the lines between them becoming indistinguishable.
With adolescence came a whirlwind of emotions. The canvas of my world became a battlefield of conflicting feelings. The open book began to close, guarded by the lock of conformity. The laughter became a shield, the tears a secret. I adorned a mask to protect (I don’t know from what), not realizing that with each passing day, the mask was merging with my skin.
The advent of adulthood brought along a sense of freedom, yet an accompanying deluge of responsibilities. The battlefield turned into a labyrinth of decisions and choices. The locked book became a ledger of practicality versus passion. The laughter had an undertone of restraint, the tears had depth. The mask was now so deeply etched into my being that it was impossible to separate.
Then there came a moment of quiet introspection when I looked back at my life’s tapestry. I saw the vibrant child full of wonder, the confused adolescent grappling with emotions, and the adult walking on the tightrope of responsibility and personal fulfillment. And I found myself asking – “Is this me?” I did not recognize this person who had traded innocence for experience, dreams for reality, and simplicity for complexity. Yet in this maze of unrecognition, there was a glimmer of resilience. A realization that despite all changes, all losses, and gains – I have survived. I have grown. Not recognizing myself wasn’t about losing myself; it was an acknowledgment that I was still evolving.