I am sorry for hurting you, for not listening to you when in hindsight I should have, and for giving pieces of you away to people who never cared enough. I cut you open and then slithered back into your affections. I hammered, twisted, and drew blood from you to win petty approvals. I acquitted myself with empty expressions. Perhaps I would not understand your choked emotions, perhaps I simply didn’t care, only wanting their hollow “blessing” – either way, your pain now sneers at me. I am truly very sorry. I am sorry for being the reason you are ceaselessly at war with my mind. You never deserved to be in a cage that was decorated with false strands of rectitude. You never deserved to be tyrannized with a melancholy that made it impossible to reach for the splendid sunshine or the soothing caress of the midnight moon.
I promise (will try my utmost best) to change my ways. If you are no longer cherished/constantly disregarded or stomped upon, I promise to distance you from that relationship. I know you would rather forgo comfort than keep a beloved who doesn’t love. Initially, it will hurt, but we will be okay. For now, you have me, and I have you.
And by god, if someone loves you the way you deserve, love that is dipped in acceptance, love that is honest and forgiving, then I will not force a lid on your pitcher and let you fill their cups till you are appeased. At least then our home would be a place of love to live in rather than a prison that confined us until the end of this life.
My benevolent heart, you were made to live out in the clear, to hum from the eyes and communicate in song. You were born to shelter and discipline my haywire thoughts to delicacy and true visionary perception. You were meant to infuse love into all parts of the mind and revive me from my forced lethargy. Regrettably, I won’t be able to glue back all your shattered and scattered pieces, but I assure you, I will care for you as the gem sculptor cares for his most valued and precious gem.
The one in whose ribs you reside.